Sunday, April 18, 2010

The BK Jar

[What's going on?!]
I've noticed over the past few weeks our level of criticism, saying unkind things, and generally being short with each other has climbed a bit. as I enjoyed another wonderful Arizona afternoon I sat outside under a tree which is my self appointed 'inspiration' spot. I thought about the problem, and at first wanted to just have a firm (unkind) confrontation with the lot of them, and lay into them how unkind they'd all been to each other lately. However, after about a second of that I realized that this was a TERRIBLE plan and tried to lay my frustration aside so I could actually receive a little inspiration.

[Trying to Be Intentional + Pure Inspiration = A FABULOUS Plan]

Nothing came until finally right as we were beginning our family meeting and ready to address the issue it hit me, and I enthusiastically started telling them all about the new systems we were going to start implementing in our family.
  1. Person of the Day: Each day we'd have one special family member who'd be recognized as the honored one of the day. They'd be able to pick their seat first for meals, choose who says some of the days family prayers, pick their chores first, choose the plate/cup they wanted, and be served first at breakfast and lunch. (We tried to include all the situations that typically turn into family fight and let the person of the day always get their 'way.')
  2. Chore Cards: Starting next week when we are back to our 'normal' routine we're going to start a chore card system. This allows everyone to pick a certain number of chores each day (not knowing what the chore is) and put back one or two of the cards they choose. This will help everyone know what to expect at chores, and eliminate the complaining that comes when mom assigns chores.
  3. Assigned seating in the car: FINALLY (I've been thinking about doing this for years) we decided to implement assigned seating in the car that will be rotated weekly. We already have next week figured out. WOO-HOO!!! Just doing this one thing will resolve a lot of the drama!!
  4. Posted Schedules: I'm recommitting myself to type up a schedule for each day. I did this really well for a few months earlier this year, and then for some reason stopped being so diligent at it. I can tell a HUGE difference in the kids when they know what is expected of them, and how the day is going to flow. I think we can all appreciate the sense of comfort that comes when we know what others expect of us.
  5. The BK Jar: Ever since last conference I've been trying to figure out how to get our family to do a 'Warm Fuzzy' jar. I tried to do one months ago, and it never really took off. Well, tonight during our family meeting it hit me. Now was the time. It all started when I we were talking about our goal to be kinder and say kind things to each other. This conversation transitioned into a talk about coming up with a key word we could say to help someone who was caught in the act of saying or doing something unkind that would help them recognize what they were doing and get them to stop. Jarom and Megan said what about saying 'BK' for Be Kind. I loved it and so did Scott so I said what about starting a warm fuzzy jar around this goal we have for our family. We finally decided that anytime you were 'BK'ed' (caught in the act of not being kind) and were able to stop right away you could put in a warm fuzzy. We also decided if you stopped in the act yourself you should put in a warm fuzzy. And finally we said if you were kind to someone you were being kind and should put a warm fuzzy in. Then, we discussed what the reward should be when the jar get's full. Someone laughed and said...since its a BK Jar we should all go to Burger King (aka BK) and get whatever we want off the menu. The kids were thrilled, and I was too!!!


Nanette said...

Great Plan! I especially love the BK reward!!

Rebekah said...

That is awesome! When I heard about the "warm fuzzy" jar I wanted to do it too, your plan may help my family too. I'll share your story and see if it inspires anyone else!

The Greevers Posse said...

What a great idea...BK Jar with warm fuzzies toboot! Love it!

You need to share what is on your BK Jar. We have been inspired!